1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,000
Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen
www.addic7ed.com

2
00:00:05,305 --> 00:00:08,240
Are you sure this isn't too mean?

3
00:00:08,242 --> 00:00:09,341
No!

4
00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:12,945
Haven't you ever heard the saying,
"The ends justify the mean"?

5
00:00:13,947 --> 00:00:15,647
Oh, yeah. All right, let's go.

6
00:00:18,952 --> 00:00:20,719
(Cell phone chiming)

7
00:00:21,755 --> 00:00:22,888
(Grunting)

8
00:00:24,524 --> 00:00:25,290
(Chuckles)

9
00:00:28,728 --> 00:00:32,197
Hmm, blocked number.

10
00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:34,666
Oh, well. Live on the edge, Bertram!

11
00:00:35,468 --> 00:00:36,802
(Chuckles) Hello?

12
00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:38,504
(With New York accent)
Hello, is this Bertram Winkle?

13
00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:39,571
Speaking.

14
00:00:41,274 --> 00:00:44,910
I'm calling from Manhattan's
number one opera station, WOPR.

15
00:00:44,912 --> 00:00:47,913
Really? I love Whopper!

16
00:00:47,915 --> 00:00:51,483
Thanks to your faithful
listenership and many,

17
00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:54,853
many emails on how to improve our playlist,

18
00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:58,357
you have won dinner
for two at Le Bon Repas!

19
00:00:58,359 --> 00:01:01,060
(Gasps) Oh, my gosh! Dinner for two!

20
00:01:01,062 --> 00:01:06,432
Wait. Do I have to bring someone, or
can I just eat the two meals myself?

21
00:01:06,434 --> 00:01:08,634
Uh, that's between you and the management.

22
00:01:09,969 --> 00:01:11,370
But there's more!

23
00:01:11,372 --> 00:01:13,238
Ooh, dinner for three?

24
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,306
No, geez!

25
00:01:15,608 --> 00:01:18,544
The "more" is that celebrity
chef Anthony Monsanto

26
00:01:18,546 --> 00:01:21,914
will personally serve you his
famous 12-course tasting menu.

27
00:01:21,916 --> 00:01:26,018
And to give you a preview, he's
sending over the first course right now!

28
00:01:26,020 --> 00:01:28,287
(Exclaims gleefully) (Elevator bell dings)

29
00:01:30,023 --> 00:01:31,757
What took you so long? (Chuckles)

30
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:36,295
Bon appetit, sucker! (Exclaims)

31
00:01:36,297 --> 00:01:37,663
(All laughing)

32
00:01:38,364 --> 00:01:40,466
You just got served!

33
00:01:41,668 --> 00:01:42,868
That's it!

34
00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:46,371
I am done dealing with you horrible kids.

35
00:01:46,373 --> 00:01:49,441
Plus, I am sick and tired of
being treated like a servant!

36
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:50,509
You are a servant.

37
00:01:50,511 --> 00:01:52,611
Not anymore. I quit!

38
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:54,279
(Emma gasps)

39
00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:57,049
That's the last time we pretend
to give him something nice.

40
00:01:58,685 --> 00:02:01,920
I have to pack my things
first, but after that I quit!

41
00:02:03,923 --> 00:02:07,025
<i>♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh</i>

42
00:02:07,027 --> 00:02:10,662
<i>♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie</i>

43
00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:13,999
<i>♪ It feels like a party every day</i>

44
00:02:14,001 --> 00:02:17,769
<i>♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie</i>

45
00:02:17,771 --> 00:02:21,507
<i>♪ But they keep on
pulling me every which way</i>

46
00:02:21,509 --> 00:02:24,910
<i>♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie</i>

47
00:02:24,912 --> 00:02:28,547
<i>♪ My whole world is
changing Turning around</i>

48
00:02:28,549 --> 00:02:32,317
<i>♪ They got me going crazy
Yeah, they're shaking the ground</i>

49
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:35,654
<i>♪ But they took a chance
on the new girl in town</i>

50
00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:39,424
<i>♪ And I don't want to
let them down, down, down</i>

51
00:02:39,426 --> 00:02:40,592
<i>♪ Hey Jessie</i>

52
00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:44,663
<i>♪ Hey Jessie</i>

53
00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:50,002
<i>♪ It feels like a party every day</i>

54
00:02:50,004 --> 00:02:53,505
<i>♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Jessie ♪</i>

55
00:02:57,577 --> 00:03:00,412
Thanks for helping me study for
my foreign language mid-term.

56
00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:01,780
I didn't know you spoke German.

57
00:03:01,782 --> 00:03:03,148
Oh, I do not.

58
00:03:03,150 --> 00:03:06,852
But your college is not accredited,
so how hard can this test be?

59
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:08,754
Fair enough.

60
00:03:08,756 --> 00:03:11,523
They actually offer
Conversational Pig Latin.

61
00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:13,091
Jessie, something horrible happened!

62
00:03:13,093 --> 00:03:14,660
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Okay.

63
00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:15,994
It's not that horrible.

64
00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:18,597
Uh, it's not like that
time we lost Ravi camping.

65
00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:20,799
That was a very uncomfortable night.

66
00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:24,036
Raccoons are not as cuddly or
chatty as they appear in cartoons.

67
00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:27,873
Luke's right. It's not a big deal.

68
00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:28,941
Mmm-mmm.

69
00:03:28,943 --> 00:03:29,942
Uh-uh-uh.

70
00:03:29,944 --> 00:03:32,077
Less walking. More talking.

71
00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:34,446
Bertram quit. See? No biggie. (Chuckles)

72
00:03:34,448 --> 00:03:35,514
What?

73
00:03:35,516 --> 00:03:37,049
No it is a big biggie!

74
00:03:37,051 --> 00:03:38,483
Why did he quit?

75
00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:39,785
Well, we sorta kinda...

76
00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:40,986
(Muffled protests) No idea, really.

77
00:03:40,988 --> 00:03:42,588
He's just weird.

78
00:03:46,993 --> 00:03:48,627
Wow!

79
00:03:48,629 --> 00:03:51,830
I still can't believe
Bertram actually quit.

80
00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:53,632
Guys, relax. He'll be back.

81
00:03:53,634 --> 00:03:55,167
He could never get another job.

82
00:03:55,169 --> 00:03:56,468
Guess what?

83
00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:57,769
I got another job!

84
00:03:57,771 --> 00:03:59,171
(Bertram chuckles)

85
00:03:59,173 --> 00:04:02,074
Just here to grab Polly the pitcher.

86
00:04:02,076 --> 00:04:04,977
Who would be desperate
enough to hire Bertram?

87
00:04:04,979 --> 00:04:06,678
Hello, urchins.

88
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:07,746
Urchin Keeper.

89
00:04:09,015 --> 00:04:10,449
Have you heard the news?

90
00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:12,918
I've got myself a new heaping hunk o' help.

91
00:04:14,787 --> 00:04:17,022
Hi, boss. Hi, bertie. (Giggles)

92
00:04:18,024 --> 00:04:20,759
See you around, urchins!

93
00:04:23,563 --> 00:04:26,031
Bertram working for Mrs. Chesterfield?

94
00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:27,899
This is like a bad dream.

95
00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:29,001
Somebody pinch me.

96
00:04:29,003 --> 00:04:30,969
I'm on it. Somebody else.

97
00:04:37,510 --> 00:04:40,045
I guess Bertram is not
coming back after all.

98
00:04:40,047 --> 00:04:44,783
So, who's gonna occasionally clean
stuff and defrost meals for us?

99
00:04:45,818 --> 00:04:48,120
Guys, do we even really need a butler?

100
00:04:48,122 --> 00:04:50,022
We could just clean up after ourselves.

101
00:04:50,024 --> 00:04:52,057
Yeah! How hard can it be?

102
00:04:54,093 --> 00:04:56,194
Okay!

103
00:04:56,863 --> 00:04:58,463
How did this happen?

104
00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:01,300
It has only been an hour
and we never left the couch.

105
00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:05,103
Maybe Bertram really did do stuff.

106
00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:07,105
Yeah, you know what he did?

107
00:05:07,107 --> 00:05:08,540
He walked out on us!

108
00:05:08,542 --> 00:05:09,741
To work for the enemy!

109
00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:11,643
How could he just leave us like that?

110
00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:12,711
Right?

111
00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:17,482
I mean, sure, we were rude, and
messy, and took him for granted,

112
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:20,185
but we are so gosh darn cute!

113
00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:23,955
Hey, where's Zuri?

114
00:05:23,957 --> 00:05:25,557
Zuri: I'm under here!

115
00:05:26,225 --> 00:05:28,694
And we need a new butler, stat!

116
00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:36,501
Good morning, Mrs. Chesterfield.

117
00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:39,104
Please, Bertie, call me Rhoda.

118
00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:43,241
Okay. But remember, you promised
we'd keep things professional.

119
00:05:43,243 --> 00:05:45,744
I'll let you know if you cross a line.

120
00:05:47,714 --> 00:05:49,748
So, what would you like for breakfast?

121
00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:53,518
Bertie, don't worry your handsome
little head about cooking.

122
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,020
(Chuckles) (Yells) Martha!

123
00:05:57,523 --> 00:05:59,558
Oh, thank you! Mmm-hmm.

124
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,793
But if you have a maid,
why do you need a butler?

125
00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:05,030
Oh, I do like to have
a lot of help on hand.

126
00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:06,565
And a lot of hands on the help.

127
00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:07,899
(Giggles)

128
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:11,737
But, I...

129
00:06:11,739 --> 00:06:15,040
Bertie, Bertie, you're
working for Rhoda now!

130
00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:16,108
(Chuckles)

131
00:06:16,110 --> 00:06:18,043
Why not take a nap?

132
00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:19,811
I know you're a nap man.

133
00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:22,280
Well, I have been up for an hour already.

134
00:06:22,282 --> 00:06:24,082
Uh-huh. (Chuckles)

135
00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:28,086
Oh, I was so glad I could
rescue you from those

136
00:06:28,088 --> 00:06:31,022
rotten ragamuffins and their noxious nanny.

137
00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:32,657
They were so mean to me.

138
00:06:32,659 --> 00:06:34,092
Yeah.

139
00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:37,262
Yes, yes, the mean children are awful.

140
00:06:37,264 --> 00:06:40,999
But you're here now,
loved and appreciated.

141
00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:41,628
(Sighs)

142
00:06:41,659 --> 00:06:44,166
This is the best job ever. (Chuckles)

143
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:47,739
Mrs. Chesterfield: Martha, hush!

144
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,875
Must you walk like a truck driver?

145
00:06:51,644 --> 00:06:53,078
So hard to find good help.

146
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,080
Yes! Yes! (Sighs)

147
00:06:59,218 --> 00:07:01,086
He's the best one yet.

148
00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:04,790
<i>Yeah, you've got to be impressed with a
guy who served appetizers on the Mayflower.</i>

149
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:09,161
Hello.

150
00:07:09,163 --> 00:07:13,165
I am Roger Bevans, and I am here
to apply for the butler position.

151
00:07:13,167 --> 00:07:15,000
Gods be praised!

152
00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:19,004
He is neat and has already eschewed
the use of two contractions.

153
00:07:19,006 --> 00:07:20,338
(Croaking)

154
00:07:21,073 --> 00:07:25,677
Oh, an Asian water monitor, the
noblest of all the lizards.

155
00:07:25,679 --> 00:07:27,245
Bertram, who? (Chuckles)

156
00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:29,915
Hi, I'm Jessie. I'm the nanny.

157
00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:31,650
And this is the Ross Family.

158
00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:33,351
How do you do?

159
00:07:33,353 --> 00:07:34,319
Uh, why don't you tell us
a little bit about yourself?

160
00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:36,021
Certainly.

161
00:07:36,023 --> 00:07:40,058
I have a degree in home economics
and food science from the Sorbonne.

162
00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:42,727
And I've worked for some of the
finest households in three continents.

163
00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:44,129
Wow!

164
00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:45,697
That's every continent!

165
00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:51,069
So, Mr. Fancy Britches, why
do you want to work here?

166
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:52,085
Zuri!

167
00:07:52,116 --> 00:07:56,141
(Clears throat) That is a good
question, Mr. fancy britches.

168
00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:59,277
Let's just say, I enjoy a challenge.

169
00:07:59,279 --> 00:08:01,446
Perfect! I'm a challenge.

170
00:08:02,782 --> 00:08:04,015
Yeah, he's not kidding.

171
00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:05,937
His room is so dirty, the
cockroaches complained.

172
00:08:07,053 --> 00:08:08,253
You're hired. (Chuckles)

173
00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:11,122
(Bertram humming)

174
00:08:13,092 --> 00:08:17,229
Bertie, I brought you
something sweet to nibble on.

175
00:08:17,231 --> 00:08:18,430
And some grapes.

176
00:08:20,066 --> 00:08:21,900
Uh-uh-uh!

177
00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:23,168
Allow me.

178
00:08:26,405 --> 00:08:29,307
I feel a little uncomfortable with this.

179
00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:31,877
Well then let's get a
little more comfortable.

180
00:08:31,879 --> 00:08:33,178
(Chuckles)

181
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:35,881
Is it getting hot in here? (Gasps)

182
00:08:35,883 --> 00:08:38,116
You feel it too? (Chuckles)

183
00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:40,952
Oh! Isn't this fun?

184
00:08:40,954 --> 00:08:43,121
Bertie, I bought you a present.

185
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:44,322
You did? Mmm-hmm.

186
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:50,161
It's your new uniform.

187
00:08:50,163 --> 00:08:51,084
Where's the rest of it?

188
00:08:51,109 --> 00:08:53,465
Wait till you see what I
make you wear in the summer.

189
00:08:53,467 --> 00:08:55,367
(Chuckling)

190
00:08:55,369 --> 00:08:57,435
Now go put it on.

191
00:08:57,437 --> 00:09:00,005
Oh, look! Uh, your tulips need attention.

192
00:09:00,007 --> 00:09:01,940
I thought you'd never notice.

193
00:09:03,242 --> 00:09:04,276
(Makes kissing noises)

194
00:09:04,278 --> 00:09:05,944
(Exclaiming)

195
00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:12,083
Breakfast is served!

196
00:09:13,152 --> 00:09:14,920
Whoa! Is all this just for us,

197
00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:17,203
or did Kate Middleton finally
accept my brunch invitation?

198
00:09:18,124 --> 00:09:20,992
A syrup fountain for the pancakes?

199
00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:23,028
Finally, somebody gets me!

200
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:27,198
Ooh! Is that rat a l'orange? (Croaking)

201
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,801
Remember, Mrs. Kipling, pinky-claw up.

202
00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:31,303
(Croaking)

203
00:09:32,271 --> 00:09:33,338
Jessie? Yeah?

204
00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:34,940
I hear you're taking German.

205
00:09:34,942 --> 00:09:37,075
I'd be happy to help you
study for your test later.

206
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,911
Oh, thanks but I'm just
taking this class pass-fail.

207
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,846
You know, less studying,
more time with the kids.

208
00:09:41,848 --> 00:09:43,281
I insist you let me tutor you.

209
00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:45,984
After all, one does want to do one's best.

210
00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:47,919
Just say "yes" so he can keep cookin'.

211
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,354
(In British accent) One
does want more pancakes.

212
00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:50,822
(All chuckle)

213
00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:52,357
Yeah, less chatter, more batter.

214
00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:53,425
(All chuckle)

215
00:09:55,194 --> 00:09:57,295
Hey, guys, so, uh...

216
00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:59,097
I made a big mis...

217
00:10:00,399 --> 00:10:02,000
Who's the dandy?

218
00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:04,502
Bertram, meet Roger.

219
00:10:04,504 --> 00:10:05,971
He's our new butler.

220
00:10:05,973 --> 00:10:08,306
He makes perfect
pancakes. (Jessie chuckles)

221
00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:11,943
Sure, but can he make smiley faces
out of chocolate chips, like I can?

222
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,011
Better!

223
00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:15,080
Say hello to the Mona Lisa!

224
00:10:15,082 --> 00:10:16,414
(All clapping)

225
00:10:18,150 --> 00:10:21,987
Yeah, I'd show you
blueberry Derek Jeter, but...

226
00:10:21,989 --> 00:10:24,889
I ate him. (Chuckles)

227
00:10:24,891 --> 00:10:27,892
Um, Bertram, would you like
to have breakfast with us?

228
00:10:28,427 --> 00:10:30,228
No, thank you.

229
00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:33,198
It seems like you're all getting
along just fine without me.

230
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,433
I, um, only came back to...

231
00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:37,802
Uh...

232
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,571
Grab my spatula cozies.

233
00:10:39,573 --> 00:10:42,941
Personally, I like to
let my utensils air dry.

234
00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:44,876
(Gasps) Air dry?

235
00:10:44,878 --> 00:10:46,111
Are you an animal?

236
00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:48,994
Well...

237
00:10:49,025 --> 00:10:53,081
I hope you and your water spots
will all be very happy together!

238
00:10:55,154 --> 00:10:56,221
(Door closing)

239
00:10:56,422 --> 00:10:58,056
Well...

240
00:10:58,058 --> 00:11:01,226
Someone's got his tea towel in a twist!

241
00:11:01,228 --> 00:11:04,896
Who's ready for the Eiffel Tower of bacon?

242
00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:06,197
(All gasping)

243
00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:07,565
Wow!

244
00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:10,101
He combined my two favorite things.

245
00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:13,004
Nineteenth century French
architecture and pork!

246
00:11:20,046 --> 00:11:22,213
(Television playing) (Vacuuming)

247
00:11:24,216 --> 00:11:27,419
Uh, Roger? Do you think
you could keep it down?

248
00:11:27,421 --> 00:11:30,522
We're trying to watch a movie!

249
00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:33,892
I don't know how you can see
anything through this fog of filth!

250
00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:37,028
Ugh! Come on, guys, let's go make a snack.

251
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:39,097
No! You can't go in there!

252
00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:41,032
I've already cleaned the kitchen today.

253
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:44,869
I hope that rule does not
apply to the bathrooms.

254
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:46,404
Hey, Roger, why don't you take a break?

255
00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:48,139
Yeah, play a game with us.

256
00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:50,975
No play until work is done.

257
00:11:50,977 --> 00:11:54,279
Bertram always used to drop
everything to play hide-and-seek.

258
00:11:54,281 --> 00:11:58,083
Actually, now that I think about it,
he may have just been hiding from us.

259
00:11:58,085 --> 00:11:59,384
(Squeaking and banging)

260
00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:01,152
(Jessie groaning)

261
00:12:03,122 --> 00:12:04,889
Hey, Roger.

262
00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:06,382
Can you put up a sign
when you wax the floors?

263
00:12:06,413 --> 00:12:08,293
I banked off the island
and slid into the stove.

264
00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:12,130
You didn't leave any scuff marks, did you?

265
00:12:12,132 --> 00:12:15,200
No, but I might have left some
blood and a piece of my elbow.

266
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:18,269
So, Jessie, did you have a chance

267
00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:20,505
to study the German
textbooks I left on your desk?

268
00:12:20,507 --> 00:12:22,974
Uh, yeah. Thanks. I scanned them.

269
00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:24,576
Scanning isn't studying.

270
00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:27,345
Scanning is for photocopiers
and lazy students.

271
00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:30,348
I... Look Roger, I don't really
need to speak perfect German.

272
00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:32,317
Remember, this test is just pass-fail.

273
00:12:32,319 --> 00:12:34,519
But you're setting an
example for these children.

274
00:12:34,521 --> 00:12:37,355
Do you want them to
just pass-fail at life?

275
00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:38,957
Or excel?

276
00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:41,259
Both: Pass-fail! Excel!

277
00:12:44,063 --> 00:12:45,130
Excel!

278
00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:47,098
Of course you do.

279
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:51,503
Now, trot on upstairs and don't come down
until you know all the irregular verbs.

280
00:12:51,505 --> 00:12:52,937
You're an irregular verb!

281
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:55,206
Pardon me?

282
00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:56,975
I said, "Sorry to disturb."

283
00:12:58,511 --> 00:13:00,245
(Television playing)

284
00:13:03,482 --> 00:13:04,482
(Vacuuming)

285
00:13:09,088 --> 00:13:10,955
I knew you'd be back, Bertie.

286
00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:13,191
They always come back.

287
00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:15,126
Usually because of
an iron-clad pre-nup.

288
00:13:17,096 --> 00:13:19,063
I'm sick of posing!

289
00:13:19,065 --> 00:13:21,166
This is why people invented cameras!

290
00:13:21,168 --> 00:13:22,500
Patience!

291
00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:24,369
<i>Et voila!</i>

292
00:13:25,571 --> 00:13:27,105
Why am I holding you?

293
00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:29,140
Because every pirate needs a little booty.

294
00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:33,444
I'd rather walk the plank.

295
00:13:35,247 --> 00:13:37,048
Now, give that to me, I'm going to burn it.

296
00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:38,216
Absolutely not!

297
00:13:38,218 --> 00:13:41,586
This painting will not be burned unless
your smoldering gaze sets it afire!

298
00:13:41,588 --> 00:13:42,654
(Chuckles)

299
00:13:43,522 --> 00:13:44,989
One, ew!

300
00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:46,691
Two, give it! Ooh! Ooh!

301
00:13:46,693 --> 00:13:48,193
Give it! (Chuckling)

302
00:13:48,195 --> 00:13:50,995
Give it! If you want it, come and get it!

303
00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:52,163
(Chortles) (Grunts)

304
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:54,165
Oh! Oh!

305
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:56,067
Oh! Oh! Oh! (Chuckles)

306
00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:58,403
Oh, these shorts are so tight!

307
00:13:58,405 --> 00:13:59,070
(Shrieks)

308
00:14:02,541 --> 00:14:04,142
(Knocking on door)

309
00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:06,511
Hello? Bertram?

310
00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:08,246
You just seemed a little sad earlier...

311
00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:10,215
(Mrs. Chesterfield chuckles)

312
00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:14,586
I'm so tired. (Mock panting)

313
00:14:14,588 --> 00:14:15,720
(Laughing)

314
00:14:15,722 --> 00:14:18,089
Give me that! You drive me crazy!

315
00:14:18,091 --> 00:14:20,258
The feeling is mutual!

316
00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:21,426
(Giggling)

317
00:14:21,428 --> 00:14:24,662
Okay. Clearly I misread those sad vibes.

318
00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:34,606
(Farting)

319
00:14:39,144 --> 00:14:40,311
Luke!

320
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,213
What?

321
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:43,448
That was the plastic!

322
00:14:43,450 --> 00:14:47,352
Yeah, because plastic
smells like deviled eggs.

323
00:14:47,354 --> 00:14:50,088
Hey guys, why don't we
all go play in the park?

324
00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:52,624
I'd like to see Roger try to clean that.

325
00:14:52,626 --> 00:14:54,125
Oh, I will come.

326
00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:56,261
But it might take me a minute.

327
00:14:56,263 --> 00:14:59,130
Roger has starched my
jeans to a fare-thee-well.

328
00:14:59,132 --> 00:15:00,365
(Grunting)

329
00:15:04,136 --> 00:15:05,270
Anyways...

330
00:15:08,173 --> 00:15:09,774
Do you guys remember those epic messes

331
00:15:09,776 --> 00:15:11,709
we used to make when
Bertram was still around?

332
00:15:11,711 --> 00:15:13,344
Yeah.

333
00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:15,113
He used to just wait until
they started to smell,

334
00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:16,614
and then make one of us clean them up.

335
00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:17,715
(All chuckle)

336
00:15:17,717 --> 00:15:19,651
Remember what he always used to say?

337
00:15:19,653 --> 00:15:22,654
All: "Put it in the trash, or
I'll put it in your dinner."

338
00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:26,691
(Sobs) I really miss that guy.

339
00:15:26,693 --> 00:15:27,759
Hey!

340
00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:28,348
Is Roger here?

341
00:15:28,379 --> 00:15:30,695
I don't want him to know
I'm taking a study break.

342
00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:33,731
But if I don't, I'm gonna
have a study-breakdown.

343
00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:35,867
Roger's cleaning the plants on the terrace.

344
00:15:35,869 --> 00:15:37,302
He said, "They're dirty!"

345
00:15:39,138 --> 00:15:41,105
They're planted in dirt!

346
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:43,241
And what's next? Mopping
the floor of the fish tank?

347
00:15:44,243 --> 00:15:46,311
Jessie, can't we get Bertram back?

348
00:15:46,313 --> 00:15:48,413
Roger is totes annoying!

349
00:15:48,415 --> 00:15:52,450
I never thought I'd hate a man who
could rock a cravat, but here we are.

350
00:15:54,253 --> 00:15:56,821
He alphabetized my practical jokes.

351
00:15:56,823 --> 00:15:59,557
He actually took the fun out of pranking!

352
00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:01,559
He's a monster!

353
00:16:01,561 --> 00:16:04,495
And he makes me go to bed at 8:30!

354
00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:05,763
8:30 is your bedtime.

355
00:16:05,765 --> 00:16:07,598
I know! It's awful!

356
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:09,500
Now I stay awake all through school!

357
00:16:11,303 --> 00:16:12,370
Oh! (Groans)

358
00:16:13,772 --> 00:16:19,277
Although I admire Roger's meticulous
nature and high academic standards,

359
00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:20,511
I must admit...

360
00:16:22,348 --> 00:16:24,349
I am chafing something fierce.

361
00:16:26,251 --> 00:16:29,921
Look, guys, I miss Bertram too,
but there's nothing we can do.

362
00:16:29,923 --> 00:16:32,557
He's having the time of
his life at his new job.

363
00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:33,725
How do you know?

364
00:16:33,727 --> 00:16:34,926
Don't ask.

365
00:16:34,928 --> 00:16:36,794
I can't re-live that again.

366
00:16:36,796 --> 00:16:38,930
Just trust me, he's moved on.

367
00:16:38,932 --> 00:16:43,234
Besides, I know Roger is kind of a
perfectionist, but he's not that bad.

368
00:16:43,236 --> 00:16:46,270
<i>Roger: Fraeulein Jessie,</i> you're
not taking a break, are you?

369
00:16:46,272 --> 00:16:47,338
Hide me!

370
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:48,406
Whoa!

371
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:51,909
(Sniffs)

372
00:16:51,911 --> 00:16:53,611
Who's been eating in here?

373
00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:54,946
I smell deviled eggs.

374
00:16:58,951 --> 00:17:00,551
(Speaking German)

375
00:17:06,592 --> 00:17:08,626
Perfect. That's the whole stack.

376
00:17:08,961 --> 00:17:10,228
<i>Danke.</i>

377
00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:12,663
Where are you going?

378
00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:14,985
<i>(Mock German accent) Away from
these stinking flash-karten.</i>

379
00:17:16,268 --> 00:17:18,469
Do you really want to quit
now and do the minimum?

380
00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:21,939
Or, as I've heard this
family say, "Luke it"?

381
00:17:21,941 --> 00:17:23,941
But I was up all night studying!

382
00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:26,911
These bags under my eyes are so
big they could carry groceries.

383
00:17:26,913 --> 00:17:29,280
The heavy stuff, like milk and detergent!

384
00:17:29,915 --> 00:17:31,916
Jessie, when I arrived,

385
00:17:31,918 --> 00:17:34,318
this family was languishing
under the care of a butler

386
00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:36,721
who didn't know his crumb
catcher from his cummerbund.

387
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:37,577
Are you okay?

388
00:17:37,608 --> 00:17:40,992
I haven't seen you this upset since you
found that apple core in the couch cushions.

389
00:17:40,994 --> 00:17:42,260
It had fuzz on it!

390
00:17:42,262 --> 00:17:43,594
I was just happy Luke ate fruit.

391
00:17:44,797 --> 00:17:46,631
It's unacceptable!

392
00:17:46,633 --> 00:17:48,566
I must make everything perfect.

393
00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:51,369
And nothing is going to stand in my way.

394
00:17:51,371 --> 00:17:52,185
(Yells) No!

395
00:17:52,216 --> 00:17:55,440
I had these sorted into masculine,
feminine and neuter nouns!

396
00:17:55,442 --> 00:17:56,641
(Gasps) Roger!

397
00:17:56,643 --> 00:17:57,708
Get a grip!

398
00:17:57,710 --> 00:17:58,776
Ow!

399
00:18:00,679 --> 00:18:02,880
Did you just give me a
black and blue butler?

400
00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:04,816
You left me no choice.

401
00:18:04,818 --> 00:18:08,953
Look, it's good to try your best,
but not at the expense of all fun,

402
00:18:08,955 --> 00:18:11,656
sleep, and contact with upholstery.

403
00:18:11,658 --> 00:18:14,759
Nobody is perfect, Roger. Not even you.

404
00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:16,761
That's, that's...

405
00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:18,529
That's so true! Oh!

406
00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:20,798
I just don't know any other way to live.

407
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,934
My mother always demanded
perfection from me.

408
00:18:22,936 --> 00:18:23,984
Oh, I get it, my father...

409
00:18:24,015 --> 00:18:26,604
Do you know how hard it is to
make friends in kindergarten

410
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:27,939
when you're wearing a three-piece suit?

411
00:18:27,941 --> 00:18:30,308
(Bawling) Roger, okay...

412
00:18:32,878 --> 00:18:34,312
There, there.

413
00:18:34,314 --> 00:18:36,013
Snot into my skirt all you want.

414
00:18:36,015 --> 00:18:37,482
You're the one who does the laundry.

415
00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:38,749
(Wailing)

416
00:18:42,354 --> 00:18:45,323
Make sure that silver is
good and polished, Bertie.

417
00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:47,358
I want to be able to see you in it.

418
00:18:49,027 --> 00:18:50,428
Okay? Is everybody decent?

419
00:18:50,430 --> 00:18:52,296
Children entering the premises.

420
00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:53,498
(Alarm sounding)

421
00:18:56,068 --> 00:18:57,935
What was that?

422
00:18:57,937 --> 00:19:00,671
The foyer is wired to go
off whenever children enter.

423
00:19:00,673 --> 00:19:03,841
Unfortunately, the electrified
floor doesn't seem to be working.

424
00:19:03,843 --> 00:19:04,876
What!

425
00:19:06,378 --> 00:19:08,012
So, what are you all doing here?

426
00:19:08,014 --> 00:19:10,915
The kids have something to say to you.

427
00:19:10,917 --> 00:19:12,683
Bertram, we want to apologize.

428
00:19:12,685 --> 00:19:15,820
Yeah, we never should have
pulled that stupid prank.

429
00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:17,555
We are terribly sorry...

430
00:19:17,557 --> 00:19:20,024
Even though I am, as usual, blameless.

431
00:19:21,693 --> 00:19:23,060
Please come back.

432
00:19:23,062 --> 00:19:25,630
We really miss you.

433
00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:27,698
Tough toenails, tykes!

434
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:31,469
You didn't appreciate Bertie when
you had him, and now he's mine!

435
00:19:31,471 --> 00:19:32,904
He signed a contract.

436
00:19:32,906 --> 00:19:35,006
That wasn't a contract.

437
00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:38,342
You forced me to autograph a picture
of myself for your nightstand.

438
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:40,978
(Chuckles)
Potato, pot-ah-to!

439
00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:42,880
It's binding!

440
00:19:44,082 --> 00:19:46,584
I'll tell you what's binding, these shorts!

441
00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:50,688
And why do you want me back?

442
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,723
Isn't Roger the perfect butler?

443
00:19:52,725 --> 00:19:54,525
We don't want the perfect butler.

444
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:55,660
We want you!

445
00:19:57,062 --> 00:20:01,499
We have seen what too much perfection
can lead to, and it is not pretty.

446
00:20:03,569 --> 00:20:07,104
Seriously, I would show you the
rash if I could get these pants off.

447
00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:09,807
(Chuckles)

448
00:20:09,809 --> 00:20:11,008
Bertram.

449
00:20:11,010 --> 00:20:13,778
Look, you may not be perfect, but...

450
00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:15,813
You're perfect for us.

451
00:20:16,848 --> 00:20:18,015
And we love you.

452
00:20:20,786 --> 00:20:23,020
Oh, I love you guys, too.

453
00:20:23,022 --> 00:20:24,589
(All sobbing)

454
00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:25,690
Ugh!

455
00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:27,491
Okay.

456
00:20:27,493 --> 00:20:28,859
Bertram's back! (Clapping)

457
00:20:29,094 --> 00:20:30,161
Wait!

458
00:20:30,929 --> 00:20:33,097
What about me?

459
00:20:33,099 --> 00:20:37,101
You miscreants have each other,
but now I'm all alone again.

460
00:20:37,103 --> 00:20:39,470
Where's Rhoda's happy ending?

461
00:20:39,472 --> 00:20:40,838
Jessie?

462
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,907
Sorry to disturb. Ooh!

463
00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:43,975
Rhoda likey.

464
00:20:45,477 --> 00:20:47,545
Thank you for accepting my resignation.

465
00:20:47,547 --> 00:20:48,946
<i>Auf Wiedersehen.</i>

466
00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:49,909
Not so fast!

467
00:20:49,940 --> 00:20:53,781
Jezebel, who is this
tasty piece of schnitzel?

468
00:20:55,487 --> 00:20:57,688
This is our ex-butler, Roger.

469
00:20:58,423 --> 00:20:59,490
Charmed.

470
00:20:59,958 --> 00:21:01,559
You're hired.

471
00:21:01,561 --> 00:21:03,127
Don't you need to see my credentials?

472
00:21:03,129 --> 00:21:04,929
I can see them from here.

473
00:21:06,431 --> 00:21:08,532
I'm too young for this. Let's bounce.

474
00:21:09,601 --> 00:21:12,770
So, how do you feel about pirates?

475
00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:14,705
Oh! Shiver me timbers!

476
00:21:14,707 --> 00:21:15,906
(Shrieks)

477
00:21:15,908 --> 00:21:17,942
(Electricity crackling) (Exclaiming)

478
00:21:18,710 --> 00:21:21,112
Oh, the floor does work!

479
00:21:21,913 --> 00:21:23,114
(Chuckles)

480
00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:26,117
(Snoring)

481
00:21:27,219 --> 00:21:30,054
Aw! Isn't he adorable?

482
00:21:30,056 --> 00:21:33,057
Look, he's making those
cute little snot bubbles.

483
00:21:33,059 --> 00:21:35,159
(Chuckles)

484
00:21:35,161 --> 00:21:37,828
I just got an A on my mid-term.

485
00:21:37,830 --> 00:21:40,064
Not that it counts. Stupid pass-fail!

486
00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:42,867
Awesome, how does it feel?

487
00:21:42,869 --> 00:21:43,934
(Chuckles)

488
00:21:43,936 --> 00:21:45,569
No, seriously, describe it to me.

489
00:21:45,571 --> 00:21:46,737
I've never gotten an A.

490
00:21:48,106 --> 00:21:49,473
It feels great.

491
00:21:49,475 --> 00:21:51,575
Almost as great as having Bertram back.

492
00:21:51,577 --> 00:21:53,144
(Snoring)

493
00:21:53,146 --> 00:21:54,679
(Farting)

494
00:21:54,681 --> 00:21:55,746
Oh!

495
00:21:55,748 --> 00:21:56,775
(Gasps)

496
00:21:56,806 --> 00:22:00,915
Sadly, we can no longer
blame that on the plastic.


